A few years ago a new demographic was identified in the travel and tourism industry.

“PANKs” are Professional Aunts with No Kids. PANKs work hard, play hard and spend lots of money on day trips and more with our nieces and nephews. I myself am a PANK to five adorable nephews.

I took two of my nephews to the Abraham Lincoln Home in Springfield, IL. The boys are well versed on how to behave in a museum, due to my work at several historic sites, and our frequent field trips to museums.

I asked them to recite “The Rules” (No touching artifacts, no interrupting our tour guide, no running, stay with the tour, etc.) in the car during our drive. They managed to come up with a fairly good list. I was satisfied that they would behave and they were excited to learn about Lincoln.

Owen and Wyatt in front of Lincoln’s Home in Springfield, IL.

Upon arriving in the parking area, we encountered a small group of adults, one of whom was loudly complaining that they could not park closer.

We entered the visitors center to purchase tickets. The same lady was ahead of us…making a scene because she didn’t want to wait 20 minutes for a tour. She wanted her tour NOW.  Tours are timed and allow for some distance between groups since this historic site is one of the most visited in the country.

When the park ranger arrived at the appointed time to give us the tour, the woman began to heckle, bully and mock him. Her friends seem equally annoyed that they had to wait, grumbled about being retired and needing to get back on the road.

The boys were appalled. We hadn’t even entered the house to start the tour and this group was really dampening the fun for the rest of the visitors.

The park ranger was great. He “deputized” the boys to help him “keep the grown ups in line.” (I thought that was brilliant, and have incorporated it into my tours whenever there are children visiting.)

Once we entered the house, the woman’s behavior became more disruptive. She repeatedly interrupted the park ranger, and loudly told the other visitors that Mary Todd Lincoln “went crazy.” She also wandered off the marked path through the bedroom and touched the quilt on Lincolns bed, stepping out of line causing an alarm to go off.

Looking for Lincoln.

My younger nephew, a kindergartner and huge Lincoln fan, looked at me wide eyed. He was clearly struggling between the “no talking during the tour rule” imposed by me, and the deputy pledge he made to help insure that the grown ups behaved.

A few moments later, the woman interrupted our guide, and again remarked cruelly on Mrs. Lincoln’s mental health.

My nephew couldn’t take it any more. He loudly said, “Aunt Kelly, that woman is saying really mean things about Mrs. Lincoln and she is NOT following the rules!

I said, “It’s OK, buddy.” (Meaning, that he did not have to spring into action as a history deputy/superhero and tackle the woman for her bad behavior.)

He replied, while stepping out of line, one hand on his hip and the other finger wagging to loudly reprimand and glare at the woman, “It is NOT OK! WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!”

All of the other adults stifled laughter. I don’t know how our guide kept his composure.

It was truly a proud PANK moment.

*Update 2019:  A few years after this visit I was visiting FDR’s Presidential Library and house museum in Hyde Park, NY.  The tour guide seemed so familiar to me.  I spoke to him afterwards, thinking maybe we had met at a conference.  He had recently moved to NY from IL…and was the very same guide we had in Illinois.  He remembered my nephews and Wyatt’s reprimand, “We are better than that!”

*Update 2026:  My nephews on this particular visit are now grown men who are out of high school.  They still enjoy museums, historic sites, and road trips.